I ask myself: Why has no one ever bothered to try and save me?
My first response: I am not worth it.

Yet surely that is not true. Surely I am more than worth it as I am, unsaved. So how can I be less than all those other girls? Those nagging, manipulative, controlling, dull- stupid-shallow creatures with blonde hair, large breasts and pretty faces.

Patience

I am not very good at being nothing, at sitting here helpless and directionless in the middle of the chaos that is forming something that I can't quite see.
If I believed in you God, I would pray for patience, for you to take away these ideas and expectations.

here

close the doors
draw the curtains
and retreat inside

here I am safe
here I can speak my mind
here I can rest from all those passing judgement

this isn't going back

this isn't going back
do you realise that i have changed?
that the bridge is well and truly burned
all that space you wanted
and the distance you needed
well it's too much and it's too far
this isn't going back
this is just us saying goodbye

old clothes

old clothes
and an old structure remembered and reenacted
take them off
i didn't like you then

Watching You Lie

You tell me your truths in secret
Then you make me a party to your lies
I watch you with your public face
Lying to everyone so brilliantly
All the while looking me directly in the eye

And you wonder why I sit in silence?

the ink dries slowly

the ink dries slowly
you lean in to whisper in my ear smudging my words with your sleeve
you want to smudge my thoughts like you have smudged my words
unconsciously wanting me to agree with you